Loneliness is Increasing. Our Behavioral Science Experiment Found an Unexpected Way of Boosting Connection

Loneliness is Increasing. Our Behavioral Science Experiment Found an Unexpected Way of Boosting Connection

How do you fight the loneliness epidemic? We developed a novel approach—and doubled participation in it.

Loneliness is Increasing. Our Behavioral Science Experiment Found an Unexpected Way of Boosting Connection.

Feeling lonely lately? You’re not the only one.

Some young people are reporting higher levels of loneliness. So are some middle-aged Americans. Civic participation is declining. The pandemic provoked unprecedented feelings of isolation and loneliness, cutting us off from loved ones and places that once brought us comfort and connection, like our favorite coffee shop or gym.

Some young people are reporting higher levels of loneliness. So are some middle-aged Americans. Civic participation is declining. The pandemic provoked unprecedented feelings of isolation and loneliness, cutting us off from loved ones and places that once brought us comfort and connection, like our favorite coffee shop or gym. 

But in truth, most people in the US already felt lonely before the pandemic.

This is not trivial. While we’re trained to think that feeling lonely isn’t really a “big deal,” the fact is that it’s quite literally a matter of life and death; loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of early mortality.

The Challenge

Building Connection in a Disconnected World

So, how can we fight loneliness?

Products could make this easier for us. They can help build connection—not only to increase happiness, but also to amplify other things they care about like retention and engagement. When that happens, everyone wins—but as yet, it’s widely underused.

Products aside, what can we as individuals do so decrease loneliness?

In behavioral science, we look for ways to close the intention-action gap — the difference between our desire to do something and us actually doing it.

An important question therefore becomes: At a time when we’re all craving connection, why don’t we take more steps to change our situation? 

In a purely rational world, everyone who wants or needs more connection would simply ask for it. If you’ve ever been in need of help or lonely – you know it’s not that easy.  Asking for help and connection makes us vulnerable. It may be that we don’t like to expose ourselves to others as weak and needy, or that we don’t want to admit to ourselves that we need it. 

So we conducted an experiment. Our basic question was, can we make it more likely for people to opt into “getting help” but do it in a way that doesn’t require people to actually “ask for help”?

The Solution

Increasing Connection—By Helping Others

Our team tackled this through a service that both accepts requests for help and allows for volunteering: a helpline. Many organizations offering these types of services have jumped in demand since the start of the pandemic

For our study, we recruited 500 American adults ranging in age from 18 to 76. We showed all participants an identical description of a helpline that would provide “the opportunity for non-judgmental support and connection.” 

Then we asked people whether they’d like to participate, with one important difference: half of all participants were asked about calling the helpline, while the other half was asked about volunteering with it. 

Why volunteering? Volunteering is sneaky (in a good way). The core benefit appears to be helping others. However, an entire body of research suggests that volunteering has positive effects on mental health, and that this might be driven by increased levels of social connectedness. It’s possible, then, that people can get the same (if not more) social connection by offering to help others than by accepting help from others. 

In each condition we measured how likely a person would be to participate (to call or volunteer at a helpline), for how long they’d participate, and how much connection they predicted would occur. Most importantly, we gave people the chance to actually sign up by providing their email address.

The Results

People were 2X more willing to participate.

Immediately after the study, one participant wrote to us, saying, “Many years ago I was part of a team that voluntarily helped mothers suffering from postnatal depression, it was very rewarding … I would be happy to do something like this again.” 

Her enthusiasm paralleled our quantitative findings.

We found that participants were significantly more likely to participate in the volunteer condition: Only 8% signed up to receive help, while 16% signed up to volunteer. People were twice as likely to engage as volunteers.

Participants also said they’d spend significantly more time volunteering (73 minutes on average) versus receiving help (22 minutes on average)(1). Those ready to volunteer were prepared to spend over 3x as long doing so. 

Why is this?

One hypothesis is that asking for help may signal something socially undesirable—that we need help. It’s possible that this negative social component may impact the likelihood of asking for help at all.

That’s, in part, what we found. We asked participants to rate the level of community respect they thought they’d feel volunteering versus asking for help. People predicted they’d gain significantly more community respect as a volunteer, compared to asking for help. 

We also asked participants in both conditions to predict how socially connected they thought they’d feel to the first person they spoke to on the helpline. People predicted that they’d feel far more socially connected as a volunteer, as opposed to a helpline caller. 

We found that both these factors—predicted social connectedness, and perceived community respect—helped explain our main finding, which was that people are more likely to opt into a program if they’re providing help versus asking for it. 

Next Steps

Don’t lead with loneliness if you want people to feel more connected.

Services that help people with loneliness exist (i.e. mental health apps), and they’re fairly linear: You need help? We help you. 

But is that the best way to drive adoption? Likely not. In designing services to reduce loneliness, it’s possible we’re missing the biggest variable: how to get people to actually use them. 

Our study suggests that it may be easier to get people to feel connected when they see themselves as providers of help rather than recipients. Plus, volunteering has other benefits and may actually be more meaningful, leading to an experience that’s both richer and more deeply fulfilling.

We think we’ve found a clever way of driving adoption of a service everyone so desperately needs. It’s almost like a backdoor into connection—framing the whole thing as what you can give rather than what you can get.

So whether you’re designing an app to reduce loneliness; trying to get an older relative to feel more human connection; or want to strengthen your own sense of connectedness, you’re likely to be most successful if you find a way to have people see themselves as the source of help and compassion for others instead of the one in need of it. 

(1) Our results even held when we controlled for a number of factors—the age of our participant, their income level, their education level, their gender, how much they volunteer, how much they talk on the phone, and their current feelings of loneliness.x


Looking to increase engagement with or participation in your program, product, or service? Let’s chat: [email protected].

To get a taste of behavioral science, check out our Behavioral Design for Health course.

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