Personalization. It’s a thing. Everyone’s trying to figure out how to get it right—how to build digital product experiences that feel tailor-made for each of us. When it works, it’s amazing. But too often, the effort doesn’t achieve the intended result. What’s missing?
In my talk at INDUSTRY: The Product Conference, I shared three major mistakes companies make when personalizing their products. Spoiler alert: It’s not just about showing people what you think they want; it’s about creating experiences that make them feel seen, valued, and involved. Here’s how you can avoid the pitfalls and deliver personalization that actually resonates with your users and drives engagement.
Mistake #1: Your Product Doesn’t Make Users Feel Seen
Let’s be real–personalization isn’t just about throwing data into an algorithm and spitting out a recommendation. It’s about creating a moment that feels like you actually get your user. Like you’ve been paying attention to what they’ve told you they care about as an individual.
Think about how it feels when you ask your friends for advice. You spend time giving them the context and laying out all the complexity and nuance of the situation. The difference between personalization and personalization that drives user value is like the difference between a friend who gives you a one-word recommendation and one who truly listens, reflects back your context, and explains how they landed on the perfect path forward. If your product doesn’t make users feel recognized that way, you may have the functional fit, but you’ve lost a lot of the hedonic element—and with it, the chance to maximize the perceived value of the personalization.
The Fix: Make it Personal with Callbacks
To build trust and connection with your users, incorporate callbacks. A callback is a reference to something they’ve done or told you before. Netflix nails this with their ‘Because you watched’ recommendations. These aren’t just suggestions—they’re acknowledgments of past behavior. They say, ‘We remember you and what you care about.’
By giving a concrete example of a past decision when sharing similar content, these recommendations allow for self-herding behavior (a fancy social science word for our natural tendency to follow suit with our past decisions). We do more of a thing because we’ve done it before. Have a favorite drink at a coffee shop? Then you know what I’m talking about. We metaphorically get in line behind ourselves; past behavior and decisions influence future behavior. Consequently, callbacks are powerful drivers of consumption.
How to do this: Don’t just suggest products, content, or services—tie them directly to past behaviors. Show users you remember what they care about, whether it’s a playlist they’ve created, an item they frequently purchase, or a show they’ve binged. When you make it clear that you’ve been paying attention, personalization becomes a real way to connect with your users.
Mistake #2: You’re Not Involving Your Users in the Process
Too many personalization efforts happen entirely behind the scenes. We think people just want the right answer. But when users don’t feel involved, they don’t fully trust the results. Think about when you go to a restaurant. Does the waiter come up the instant you sit down and ask if you want the Pinot Noir? No! They ask about your food and wine preferences first, and then you feel bought in on the recommendations. The same is true in product—if users aren’t bought in on the ‘how’, they won’t trust the ‘what’.
The Fix: Ask More Questions
Get users invested in the product by asking for their input. When people are part of the process, they feel more ownership over the result. Behavioral science shows that asking questions boosts the recipient’s perception that you are responsive to their needs, and makes them more likely to accept recommendations.
Of course, adding friction is a double-edged sword. We want to minimize unnecessary friction, but friction in the form of questions around preferences, needs, and desires in onboarding to a product or feature can help build commitment and increase perception of fit. This was true in our work with TytoCare, where an eligibility quiz drove likelihood to purchase the device (from 37% to 53%). And anecdotally, we’ve scores of similar examples, as when Thumbtack saw conversion improve as their onboarding quiz got longer. As they gradually increased onboarding questions from five to 12, they saw a 15% improvement in conversion. Conversion didn’t decrease even after they added eight more questions for a total of 20.
How to do this: Build personalization tools that involve the user in the process by asking them questions along the way. Collaboration is key—whether it’s an onboarding quiz to build a mental model of how the product can create value for them as an individual, or an AI chatbot that helps them make a purchase decision by reflecting back their preferences.
Mistake #3: Your Users Can’t Tell That the Experience is Personalized
Ever gotten an amazing gift but didn’t realize how much work went into finding it? That’s how most users feel about personalized experiences—they see the result but not the effort behind it. And when effort isn’t obvious, it’s undervalued.
The Fix: Show Your Work
People value things more when they understand the effort involved. This is where operational transparency comes in. TurboTax does a great job of this—when they walk you through each step of transferring your federal info to your state return: they’re not just completing a task and reloading the page, they’re showing you the value of their work. The more users see the process, the more they appreciate the final result.
To amplify users’ appreciation for personalization, increase their awareness of the behind-the-scenes effort. Ask yourself: 1) How can you make this more visible? 2) Can you highlight key steps you handled for them, especially those they may not have considered but would value?
How to do this: Don’t let your personalization efforts go unnoticed. Break down the process—whether it’s through status updates on loading pages or messages like ‘We chose this for you because…’ to help users recognize the effort you’re putting into making the experience truly theirs.
TL;DR: The Human Touch Matters
Personalization is about connection, not just tech. People don’t just want a product that works; they want to feel understood. They want to see the effort, to know they’re part of the process, and to feel recognized for who they are.
If you’re looking to take your product’s personalization to the next level, let’s chat. At Irrational Labs, we’ve been helping companies design better experiences using behavioral science for over a decade. Reach out to me to learn how we can bring these strategies to life for your users: [email protected]
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